Turn About
by BMeph
Summary: Mai-HiME. Crack 'fic. Story's mine, Mai-HiME isn't.


Turn About, A Mai-HiME crack-shot

Grumping to herself about Life, the Universe, and all the things in it, Nao tromped down the sidewalks of downtown Fuuka. Stupid Tokiha...no, stupid Tokiha clan! Takumi was always doing dumb things, especially involving him running around to his big sister's place, borrowing cooking supplies and teasing freeloading body-sacrificing young girls about their free generously helping to use up food soon to spoil. Then stupid Mikoto jumping through the window and scarfing up all the free food, that's just not fair! Then, when Kuga offers to give her a free ride into town, who should show up but Freaking Snake Hips - Nao swore that Fujino had some kind of GPS plant on her mutt, just to be able to track her around. Now, Nao was abandoned, bored, and hungry! Stupid school kids; this guy a couple of steps in front of her now even looked like Moon-Face Tate, always staring at Mai's boobs, and never doing anything about it. _I bet I could show him a thing __or two, but he'd probably just run off to Octopus-Head_.

* * *

Meanwhile, Yuuichi Tate was in fact, the one hurrying down the sidewalk in front of Nao; the usually cool and capable youth looking more worried than usual. Yuuichi's cause for concern was self-evident; he had just barely been able to turn a series of corners and elude the pit-bull-dogged attentions of Shiho.

Still, like a fugitive on the run, Yuuichi could imagine Shiho's hot breath on his neck, just before she pounced, and started talking non-stop about weddings, or puppies, or - God save us - puppy weddings! He swore, girls were supposed to be more mature, and grow up faster than boys, right?

Suddenly, looking up, Yuuichi spots a familiar-looking set of double pig-tails, and swiftly pivoting on his good leg - plows right into Nao. "Hey, watch-" Nao began to yell, but was quickly cut off by Yuuichi's hand to her mouth. Nao shimmied away from the former _kendoka_, and continued her rant, only quieting down when Yuuichi got Nao to back into the wall of a building, so he could put his hands on her shoulders...and kiss her.

He wasn't looking for trouble - trying to be close to both Mai and Shiho was more than enough trouble than one man ought to have to deal with. He sure wasn't planning to "expand his horizons" with a charitable gift to the Nao Yuuki Scholarship Fund. Really, he was just trying to get the girl to quit screaming her head off and drawing all of the ears and eyes around to them. He could see Nao's eye, a very wide, and shimmery green, narrow, then gleam a bit... It was his only warning before he felt Nao's tongue run across his lips and push slightly.

Not wanting to draw back - this could let Nao escape and really start to yell her head off - Yuuichi did what any young man confronted with a loud-mouthed girl with a sharp tongue would do; he kept the girl's tongue occupied with something else. _Why the hell is Nao giving me tongue_, Yuuichi wondered, _does she think I'm gonna pay her for a __date, now?_ He would have thought more, but then Nao did this funny wiggly thing in his mouth, and "in for a penny, in for a pound," Yuuichi was in the wrestling match of his life.

Without thinking, Yuuichi's hand came up to cradle Nao's cheek, lightly tracing the outline of Nao's ear. Nao responded by gripping on to Yuuichi's hip so tightly he'd swear it bruised. They pressed against each other, not really sure how they got where they were, but having too much fun to stop now. Which meant, of course, that someone else would feel it her duty, to stop them herself.

"Big Brother!"

As Yuuichi's lips spasmed from his reflexive cringe, Nao smirked. Patting his sore hip, Nao snarkily responded, "Don't worry, Tate, I'll save you - just remember, you owe me one." Then, pushing on that same hip, she turned the other way, so they both faced the source of the cry.

"What are _you_ doing with _my_ Big Brother?" Like little fireflies, Shiho's eyes glowed with an unusual chemical energy. Pushed away by Nao's head turning, Tate jerked his hand from Nao's head, settling for folding his arms after a second or so of awkward fumbling. Enjoying the tension - and the attention - Nao wrapped an arm around Tate's waist, making sure that Shiho's claim of possession was being ignored, as well as staking her own claim, at least, until she'd had her fun.

"I don't see a collar on him, Shiho, so I think he gets to choose for himself," Nao quipped. "Then again, a collar might be fun..." Yuuichi jumped as Nao's hand ran along his ribcage, like a giant spider, running its web. "As for what we were doing, we can do it again, and show you,..." Nao placed her other hand on Yuuichi's pecs, giving an extra caress with a measured eye, not expecting the punkish boy to still have such impressive muscle tone. Yuuichi and Nao looked at each other, he more from the chest stroke. Nao winked, causing him to blush slightly and break the eye bond, while Nao turned back to Shiho, knowing exactly what it looked like to her.

"That's...that's...waugh, that's horrible!" Shiho broke down unhappily, running off, and pelting unlucky pedestrians in the back as she fled. "Hmpf," Nao sniffed, "didn't even fight for you, Tate. A shame; I would have loved to slap the snot out of her." Nao looked at her hand nonchalantly, while her other hand was still exploring Yuuichi's waist and ribs. Yuuichi blew out a big sigh - relief, of just tension, one couldn't say. "I have the feeling I'm going to be paying for that, later," he moped.

Nao gave him a quick side hug, before removing her hand and threading it through Yuuichi's arm. Then, her stomach gave a little growl; well, two out of three fixed is good. Then Nao saw a familiar restaurant down the street. "Oh, Yuu-I-chi," Nao purred, "since you OWE me, and all, why don't you take me to breakfast..." Nao was already licking her lips in anticipation, but not of the food. She was thinking about as annoying as the day had started, how the rest of the day was looking great!


End file.
